wallflower.

“i sing what was lost and dread what was won,
i walk in a battle fought over again,
my king a lost king, and lost soldiers my men;
feet to the rising and setting may run,
they always beat on the same small stone.”
–william butler yeats

i’ve been here before.
i’ve fought this same silly battle too many times,
and lost even more.

thought i won. once and for all…and all that jazz.
but here i am. old me coming back? i don’t like it.

i want what you got. i don’t think i can see what i have.
maybe cause no one points it out? maybe.
irresistible. star of the show. i’m so used to it.

you could say i know how to look real good in the background.
i’m living in a shadow again.
it hurts, sometimes, here in the shade.
it’s not your fault. it’s mine.
takes me back to another year, another life.

if only i could step out. throw my own shadow for a change.
it’s easier in the shade, i think.